Short Film: Update #28 light at the end of the tunnel

Hello hello! As suggested, there wasn’t one of these last week, so lucky you, you now get two. Joking, of course! Got you though, didn’t I?! Shhh, leave me alone, it’s my blog and I can make as many silly jokes as I want!

Right, so what has been going on since last time?

No, I didn’t mean that, although that was how I spent the bank holiday weekend… Seven games across four days- not a bad way to celebrate the resurrection of christ and all that!

That’s more like it: the backgrounds are really, almost complete. And I couldn’t be happier! But I still have a few left to do and they aren’t the easy ones. But I’m kind of at the point now where I’m picking the lesser of two evils each time I work on a background (or any of the remaining tasks), because they’re all pretty difficult as yep, I already did the easy(er) ones. But I’m definitely in the swing of things now with them, so the harder ones aren’t feeling quite as daunting as they did a month or so ago.

As you can see from the screen grab above, I also figured out how I was to finish the background for the nightclub scene. I had decided on the use of 16mm film a while back, as it gives a strobe effect by its very nature, alongside some great patterns and colours- somewhat reminiscent of the type of lights you get in such establishments (in a very abstract/ impressionistic way, of course). But the ‘extras’ were still just a figment of my imagination, until the beginning of this week when I got a great idea of how to add those in. Again, I wanted them to be quite impressionistic as well, so the focus stays very much on the protagonist, but I didn’t want her dancing in an empty club either, as that just would have looked bad. Or at least not suitable for the type of atmosphere I wanted to convey in this sequence.

So I went on to the stock footage website Pexels like I have many a time for this project and downloaded a load of clips of people dancing. I then selected 12 of those and rotoscoped the silhouettes of the people, but I did this on every other frame, so it would feel more ‘club-like’. I then brought them into Premiere and changed the opacity and blend mode, so they merged with the background. When moving, it really does look like they’re under strobe lights, and it gives the type of feel to the background I was after.

The nightclub shot was definitely giving me a bit of stress, as I had no idea how I would be able to set about creating it, or if I’d be able to pull it off altogether. Yay, self doubt. It still needs a bit of tweaking, as I have’t quite established how I’m going to organise the background characters- it’s turning into a mini logistical nightmare (but that’s nothing new at this point)! But I can see that once I get that sorted, it’ll be a really impactful shot: I’ve done a few test exports of that section and I am pleased with how it’s looking, even if it’s not quite there yet.

Next week, I’m planning on working through the remaining backgrounds, though there are a few which require reference shots, but hopefully I can get those this weekend. I’ll admit that I’ve kind of taken my foot off the gas with the film at present in terms of pace/ output each day. This is likely because of the difficulty of it right now, so it feels like half a days work is plenty before my brain starts to get too frazzled! Most of the work on it right now is ‘thinking work’, rather than just rotoscoping/ colouring etc, where it was easy to complete 7-8 hours of work daily. But completing a section or two each day at the moment is a pace I’m happy with. As long as I get something done on it every day, then I’m fine with that.

In addition to the above, I’ve also relaxed any deadlines I had- or at least any for this years festival cycle. I now have the end of August/ beginning September as my completion date, which has definitely released any stress the deadline was giving me. And judging by the fact that my sleep has improved almost 100%, then that was probably a lot! See previous posts for context… There’s no way I’d be able to finish it by the end of May anyway without rushing it and likely ruining my mental health in the process! Disappointing it will take longer than I had imagined, but the film (and my wellbeing) will be all the better for it. So yeah, I just wanted to quickly update on that. And I feel this Autumn deadline is much more realistic too and hopefully won’t need to shift any further.

Ok, this has turned into a bit of an essay as usual(!), so I’ll leave it here and see you in the next one xo

Short Film: Update #27 the struggle continues

This week has been a bit of a mixed bag: I was optimistic going into the week having just completed all the colouring, but that was dampened fairly soon after struggling with a few of the backgrounds. Some of them are proving a lot more complex than I had imagined, which kind of sent me back into the ‘disliking my film’ slump I was in a few weeks ago. I appreciate that’s not the most mature response to a difficult task, but I honestly felt extremely out of my depth in terms of skill to be able to pull what I wanted to off. But after my little tantrum(!) and once I was over the initial hurdle of ‘oh, these might actually take a while and be pretty difficult’, I ended up producing a fair chunk of work, some of which I’m quite proud of, too. A lot of trial and error went in to the making of these backgrounds (some more than others), but I thought it was better to get them ‘right’/ how I want them and spend more time doing so, rather than settle for something I’m not especially happy with. Nothing good ever comes easy, does it?!

There’s one or two backgrounds I’d like to redo and/ or tweak from earlier on, too, when I was getting into the swing of things and ironing out the process. But those can wait until I’ve done the first pass, then I can asses in full what else needs doing, including any effects I need to add etc.

I exported the film again Friday afternoon, to appreciate what I had achieved during the week and to give myself a well needed confidence boost. Which actually worked! It has come on leaps and bounds from the week prior and has made me feel better about this weeks progress, especially when it has felt quite slow at times. It feels like I’ve been working a lot on various shots, but not especially having anything to show for it, due to it’s been a lot of sketching stuff out and trying to make things work. But watching it through has shown that I have done more than I think and it is actually looking quite filled out now. There’s actually not a whole lot to go- how exciting!! It has also showed me that I can overcome the difficult shots if I just keep working at them, even if I don’t manage them straight way- a little bit each day works wonders! I also received some positive external validation towards the end of the week, which was a nice feeling, as the only other person to have seen the film since the animatic stage (back in July last year) has been my boyfriend, so it’s nice to know it’s landing with other people, too. I understand that validation isn’t the be all and end all and if I’m happy with my film then that’s what matters, but it is nice when you do get some feedback in this way, when you’re essentially working in a bubble.

There may or may not be one of these next week as it’ll be a shorter working week for me, as I’ll be taking some time off to enjoy the bank holiday weekend: seeing my family, watching lots of football and getting a few skate sessions in too, of course! So if I do, it’ll be on Thursday, but if not, it’ll be the week after. I’ll see how I feel! Right, back to the backgrounds..!

Short Film: Update #26 colouring completed!

So this week, I hit another landmark: I finished the colouring for all the shots I currently have outlines for (around 80 or so)- how exciting is that?! I exported the film and watched it through in full yesterday morning and I am quite proud of it so far, I must say! The colour finished, combined with around three quarters of the backgrounds completed really makes it easier to see the film as a whole, alongside giving me motivation to push through these final stages of completion.

It’s easier to see the story coming through now- or at least to me! Hopefully it’ll translate for other people as well. The edit definitely needs a few tweaks here and there which I’ll do on Monday, but it really is shaping up quite nicely. I one hundred percent feel better about it than I did a few weeks/ months ago! I guess it just goes to show that you can’t really judge something when it’s only half/ quarter/ third complete. Which is easy to do as a creative, especially if you’re as self critical as I am! And when working on something for so long, it’s frustrating when you’re not seeing the results immediately. You sometimes go though long periods where it feels like you might be doing all this work for very little reward, in case it doesn’t end up turning out how you want/ imagined, because it’s not always easy to see. But this is testament to the whole ‘just keep going’ thing and if you push through, and put in the work, you’ll likely get where you want to be. Plus, it’s not finished until it’s finished, so there’s that as well!

I’m still not sure about when I might get the whole thing finished- I think my deadline of April 30th is definitely a bit optimistic at this point, especially if I don’t want to rush it, so I’m thinking more the end of May. Which I’ll be happy about, but we shall see! I actually still need to film a couple of shots which involve extras and animate/ colour those as well. And I haven’t even organised those shoots yet. So I need to start thinking of that this week too. This is (one of the reasons) why I need a producer! One of the parts I really dislike about the filmmaking process is sorting locations and actors, because it’s not something I feel especially comfortable doing. But I’ve just got to get on with it in the case of this film and maybe have a producer next time around- fingers crossed…

My plan next week is to sharpen the edit somewhat, alongside complete the backgrounds for the remaining shots and get to work on some of the scenes with extras. I’ll be extremely happy if I can get the backgrounds finished by this time next week, but I’m not going to put pressure on myself or rush them, so if they aren’t able to be done by then, then they aren’t able to be done by then! At the end of the day all these deadlines I’m putting on myself are arbitrary and don’t actually matter! Like I’ve said before on here, I’m not going to cause myself unnecessary stress over something that isn’t even real.

That’s it for this week, see you next time xo

Short Film: Update #25 colour colour colour

Despite the dreaded insomnia continuing this week, I’ve actually been extremely productive. Because the backgrounds require more ‘thinking’ work (harder to do this kind of stuff when sleep deprived) I’ve put those to the side for the time being (I only completed one in full this week and that was on Monday) and made good strides with the colouring: something which doesn’t require quite as much brain power as creating the backgrounds.

Obviously I have been wanting to be getting on with the backgrounds, but in actual fact, seeing the Premiere timeline fill up with coloured shots (and temp backgrounds), has definitely been a moral boosting activity. It feels like the film is really shaping up nicely and has one hundred percent bolstered my confidence. I also think that once the colouring is done, the backgrounds will come easier, as this enforced distance away from them has been a positive gestation phase- I’ve already come up with some good ideas in moving forwards with them, including some more experimental stuff… All to be revealed in due course!

Think I’ll leave this post at that, as not much more else to say, apart from yay to lighter evenings thanks to the clocks changing last night! Lovely stuff. Work in progress face colour pic below, as thought it looked kind of cool! See you next time xo

Short Film: Update #24 the struggle is real

Okay, I can’t lie: this week has been bit of a rollercoaster if I’m being honest. I came back from last weekend feeling super positive about the film and made good headway on both the backgrounds and colouring of a fair amount of shots. But, after a few days of positivity (guess that’s how much my brain can handle!) I soon turned to disliking my project/ the backgrounds and considering scrapping the whole thing. Yes, it was that extreme! This was triggered by a bout of insomnia- it always affects how I feel emotionally as well as being physically tired. Oh, the joys… It was particularly bad on Thursday, so I only managed to do half a day of work, which actually was a good thing. When I’m in that kind of mind set, continuing to work is usually not the best idea, as the work I produce is never up to standard, alongside it impacting my wellbeing negatively. It’s best to do something completely different to take my mind of it- in which I did and went on a nice walk in the sunshine, followed by a couple of films at the cinema.

Friday I was feeling much more positive again, after a decent nights sleep and a good skate session, I was able to look at my project in a more rational light. I watched the film through in full and felt really pleased and proud of what I have achieved thus far and I’m excited going forwards. I just need to carry on as I am and have no more silly thoughts regarding my work- or if do, just ignore them, as they’re usually just temporary anyway.

I think when you’re working solo on something such as this, it’s easy to get in your head about certain things, because you don’t have anyone else on your team to lift you up/ bounce ideas off/ rationalise thoughts to. My boyfriend has been wonderfully helpful and supportive in that way and will often watch the project through with me to keep my somewhat self destructive thoughts in check, though I don’t want to drag him into my mental turmoil(!) every time I’m feeling ‘off’ about my project. I suppose this is where a producer or very least a mentor would be handy. I should remember this for future large scale projects…

The above probably doesn’t make for the most fun reading, but there’s little point in saying everything is going swimmingly when it’s not. There’s so much online which is just people’s highlights and I have never wanted this blog to become that. If I read back on this in a few years (or even as a reader of this blog), I’d much rather read a realistic account of making a short film and see what highs and lows one might experience. Because filmmaking is never straight forward or easy and you’re always going to run into challenges which you need to overcome, whether that be mental or logistical or anything else. I don’t want to put anyone off filmmaking by any means and I will actively encourage people to make stuff as I love when people do just that, but at the same time I’m not going to forfeit any authenticity or hide my filmmaking experience for the sake of trying to looking good online.

Ok, free therapy session aside, I will actually share some positives, because contrary to the above, the week wasn’t a total write off and I did get a lot done and stuff I’m very proud of, too! See, filmmaking really does have two sides to it! When mulling the project over in the small hours of the morning whilst not sleeping, I did actually come up with a good idea of how I’m going to render the dress in the nightclub scenes. I thought, can I make it glittery? The answer was a resounding ‘yes’:

The above is a quick test I did using After Effects, following this tutorial. It needs refining, but as a concept, it works. And I’m pretty pleased with how it looks. It’s making me consider whether I should use more textures on the clothing, so it’s not so ‘blocky’, but I’ll get to that at a later stage… I just need to focus on finishing the backgrounds and basic colour first, but it’s definitely something to think about.

And lastly, I’ll sign off with the ever developing colour swatch:

See you next time! xo

Short Film: Update #23 making background progress

After expressing my apprehensions r.e backgrounds in last weeks post, I am pleased to report I have made an excellent start on them this week! I completed backgrounds for 21 shots, so all in all a good start.

I’ve began with the easier ones, to allow me time to get used to the process and the style, plus to give me confidence going forwards. If I can see the Premiere timeline (and my spreadsheet) filling up with nice looking backgrounds, then my confidence is definitely going to be higher than if I had only completed one or two this week and struggled through them. The ones I’m qualifying as ‘harder’ now, probably won’t seem as bad after a week or so of work on this, as I’ll have a more established workflow. Plus when they are the only ones left to do, I’ll have no choice but to do them anyway!

Though a few of the ones I currently have down as ‘completed’ still need a bit of work- after having done a few, I can clearer see what goes with the style better and what doesn’t, so some definitely need revisiting. A lot of this is a continual process and I feel I might be iterating right up until I have all of them done, to enable me to get the coherent look and feel I want to achieve. I thought it was better to get something down for each shot initially to have in the timeline, so then I can have a basis to work on for each shot. If I don’t have anything down, then I won’t even have anything to improve or build on, making the process less effective. It’s kind of like writing: don’t edit as you go, get it all down on the page first, then edit. So yeah, that’s the philosophy I’m bringing into the backgrounds!

I’ve realised I’ve barely said anything positive about them (why am I so hard on myself!), but a lot of the ones I’ve done, I do actually really like. I suppose the ones I’m not so fond of are weighing on my mind more than the ones I am proud of. This is because they aren’t quite done and dusted, therefore at the forefront of my thoughts and creating anxiety/ stress, than the ones which I have essentially put to bed and do not need to think of again for the time being… I think a few days off over the weekend will settle me and allow me to take my mind off them, and come back feeling fresh to go again on Monday. I hope! That shall be the plan…

I’ll sign off with this image of the current colour swatch:

Short Film: Update #22 background designs and another clip!

Having the majority of the outlines now out the way, the past week I mostly continued my progress with designing the background styles and colour for the film. If you have been following my progress on this blog, you may remember I posted a few initial tests at the start of this year (crazy how it’s March already)! I’ll link that post HERE to jog your memory, or indeed for if you are new to my blog and in that case, a big hello and a warm welcome!

With my new designs, I refined what I had done previously, simplifying the style in terms of how many brushes I’m using (now just the one) and creating a cohesive pipeline of creating said backgrounds. They’re conceptually close to the prior ones, still using the watercolour textured background to contrast with the smooth character style, but like I said, just that little bit more honed. I also kept in mind the colour palette I’m using: which as you’ll see, it has a pastel tone to it, something I wanted to emulate with the look. I feel this would suit both the holiday and hospital sections of the film, and be impressionistic/ atmospheric enough without being too distracting, but also have enough detail so the audience knows what is going on and where the character is. I’ll add a few below:

And a little clip of a shot I ended up cutting from the film, but didn’t want to waste, so it became a test clip:

I wanted to test the backgrounds in a variety of locations and shot size, plus a mixture of whether the character is included or not, to see how the backgrounds would translate in different situations and if they all looked uniform and from the same film. I feel they do, but I definitely will need to keep a limited/ refined colour palette when creating the backgrounds. Too many colours will lose any consistency I have across the designs.

Despite being pleased with what I have created thus far and having gone through several iterations of each test shot, I’m still just sitting with them for a little while longer before going full pelt at making all the backgrounds, incase I can think of any further ways to ‘plus’ the designs. I have already had a few days away from them, to enable my eyes to view them fresher while I worked on some other background elements, and even after three days away from them, I can definitely appreciate them in new light. And a positive light at that! I actually really like them and think they all work well together. It gives me hope for my film and to be honest, I can’t wait to see how the film plays out, once all the backgrounds are in place. I do absolutely love the look of them!

But, I am going to leave doing them for real for a little longer just incase, though I’m feeling quite certain this is the way forward. In honestly, I think I might be procrastinating a little, too. I’ll admit backgrounds is where I’m least confident in, because I have never had any formal training in animation or illustration, so somehow feel like I am searching for an illusive source of validation, or someone ‘more qualified’ than myself is going to give me some magic ‘go ahead’ to press on with the backgrounds. I feel like what if [my backgrounds] are all just ‘bad’ and that no one is going to like the film because the backgrounds look rubbish or something. But in writing this down, I can see that my thinking here is nonsense. I watch 100s of animated shorts and I basically live and breathe (pardon the cliche) filmmaking/ animation/ art and have seen such a variety of different background styles. Plus I’ve created animation stuff for years and then non-moving art stuff for years before that, so surely I’m qualified myself to decide if I think the backgrounds are right for my film?! You would think so, wouldn’t you… It would be nice if I could stop having such a low opinion of myself and everything I create. Any tips for this, let me know!! Hopefully on next weeks post, I can say that I’ve made a positive start with the backgrounds- fingers crossed!

Short Film: Update #21 outlines completed- kind of!

Yep, the title: the outlines are finished!! 86 shots. About 8/9 minutes of animation. Done. Well, at least all the footage with me featuring in- I do still have a few more shots with some extras (though I’m yet to shoot that stuff). But, it feels like the film is well on it’s way to completion at long last and it feels like a pretty major landmark in making the film:

So I’m taking it easy over the next day or two, to celebrate my achievements and take stock of what I have done on the project thus far. Having a little time away from it will also allow me to come back to it after the weekend feeling refreshed and raring to go again. I’ve so far treated myself with doing a spot of embroidery: something I haven’t done since December (though feels like much longer!), plus a relaxed skate sesh, along with having planned a few cinema outings and football trips over the weekend. I also got myself some chocolate ;)

Contrary to how the last paragraph may sound, it’s not all fun and games: I am doing some light work as well, being as the project needs to keep on moving forward. So i’m having a little time to consider how to go about the next steps: backgrounds and colour, alongside gathering some reference material for said backgrounds (and a few of the extras, too). The website Pexels is an absolute saviour!

I watched the film in full yesterday (Thursday) after having completed the last shot and I am quite happy with how it played out. The story felt fairly intact, which I was super pleased about, especially being as there were no backgrounds and only extremely minimal audio to help it along. So doing that gave me a boost that my efforts aren’t going to waste and I am well on the way to creating a cohesive film. The edit definitely still needs tweaking and a few establishing shots do need adding, but it feels like the foundations are in place.

The filmmaking process is so weird, because it’s quite hard to translate the story you have on paper (or storyboard form), to the screen. You really are constantly crafting your story, even after you have a “locked” script. There’s that famous Robert Bresson quote about (I’m paraphrasing here) how a film is made or ‘born’ three times: in the writing/ scripting stage, then in the shooting stage and lastly in the edit. And it really does ring true- it was the same when creating my previous film. But suppose it’s just one of those ‘trust the process’ things, right?! And on that note, I think I am done here, I have a film to make, see you next time xo

Short Film: Update #20 NEW CLIP!!

I’ve had another very productive week:

I completed seven shots in full, with two more in the works. And I’m (finally) feeling like the end of these outlines really is in sight! As predicted in a previous post, the sequence I’m currently working on is a little ‘easier’/ faster to get through as the shots are more static than the ones in the prior sequence, which I finished on Tuesday this week. Earlier than I thought I might- always surprising in animation when you finish something earlier than expected! It also meant I felt much more relaxed last week and even had a little time off. Gasp! Though that was also partly to let the edit for the next sequence settle before I started animating it. I like to have a bit of time between edits so it’s easier to see each new cut with fresh eyes, resulting in a better final product. It’s crazy how much of an impact leaving something to ‘breathe’ can have on your project. 10/10 would recommend! Same with taking breaks and that. Have written about this kind of stuff loads on here, so yeah, I’ll shut up now!

Not much more else to say this time- I’m all out of words thanks to my mini essay last week!

But, very excited to share another clip! It’s been a while- November was the last time I did this. It’s still very much a WIP as no colour and the background needs more work (a few extras dancing etc), but I think it has the basic workings of the final outcome. And I really like the effect I used for the background: inked 16mm film, layered up to make some nice looking colours and patterns. Hope ya enjoy! See you in the next one xo

Short Film: Update #19 are we nearly there yet?!

I’m actually pleased with the amount of animation I got done this week. Yes, you heard that correctly: I’m actually pleased with the amount of animation I got done this week! I completed five shots in full and made good progress on a further four. I averaged 7 hours animating each day, hitting my target. Nice.

Because the sequence I’m working on currently is so movement heavy (it’s a nightclub scene, so yes, I did actually have to dance), each shot is taking quite long- perhaps a little longer than I initially thought. I hoped they might have all been finished by now, but I definitely need about three more full days on them. But like I said in the previous update, the remaining scene is very static, so that shouldn’t take as long. She says. I think Wed 26th might be a realistic deadline for all the outlines.

I know it seems like I keep extending any deadlines I’m setting for myself, which I guess I have been doing, but I’m not going to work 12 hours each day and burn myself out or impact my mental health in a negative way, just for the sake of creating a film. Which is meant to be a fun, enjoyable process anyway. That’s not to say I want to be slacking either- I think a nice number is around 7 solid animating hours daily, which also gives me time to do the other things I enjoy doing such as skateboarding and cinema, plus getting some walking in as well. Not a chance I’m sitting at my computer all day and not getting out for a stretch of the legs! The deadlines have been quite hard to set when it’s difficult to know how long each section might take to do. It’s easy to underestimate this kind of stuff in the world of animation and err on the side of optimism!

It also pushes my April 30th final completion date into contention. Once these outlines are done, then that essentially gives me just two months to colour maybe around 80-90 shots (not too sure on the exact figure right now as the remaining ones aren’t yet in my tracker), alongside backgrounds for said shots- though obviously some backgrounds can be used on multiple shots. I also want to do at least one other round of feedback, to see if this version of the story lands better than the one I sent out for the animatic way back when. And then potentially have extra scenes/ shots to add if the consensus leans that way. And then I still need to arrange and film the shots with the extras, plus animate those. Then there’s compositing, sound design and score to consider. And I also want to spend some time really developing the background and colour styles, which is something that won’t happen over night. So when I set it all out like this, then two months doesn’t feel enough. At all. Unless I work into the night for two months straight and forfeit anything else I enjoy doing. Which is of course not an option! Some people might be able to do that, but not me. It would have too much of an impact on my mental health, which isn’t always in the best shape as is!!

So with this in mind, I did have a brief re-look at the festival deadlines and costings and see whether it’s best to delay until next festival cycle. An idea suggested by my boyfriend. Which I think is a very valid point. This would mean the pressure is off a bit, and then I can really spend the time making it the best film it can be, without trying to cram everything into a tiny time slot. I’ve made this mistake with previous films to get them ready for unrealistic festival deadlines and therefore hampering the end product. I’m not saying I’m going to be working on my film for years and nitpicking every tiny thing and end up never completing it, but that’s not to say I shouldn’t spend a little more time on it where possible, or at the very least, not rushing it for what is essentially, an arbitrary date. I don’t want to have spent all these months working on it, for it end up falling flat or not be something I’m proud of, especially when I’m the one setting the deadlines/ timescale.

I also need to consider my intentions for the film- which is a ‘calling card’, if you like, for my feature film in order to attract funding/ producer etc. Plus also to improve on my previous short ‘Bear’ in both story and style, along with contributing to my body of work and illustrating who I am as a director. So with the above in mind, I don’t want a rushed piece of work to be a showcase of who I am. I want to be fully proud of this film and be able to screen it without any caveats. Yes it’s a little frustrating to potentially not have it in this round of festivals, but the film itself is more important than that, and if I spend a little more time on it, then it might likely have a better chance at getting selected for more festivals. So yeah, I need to re-read this post if I start doubting or getting all panicked about it! The film will be done when it’s done.

Wow, that was a long speech! I guess I just needed to get it out my system… Anyway, I suppose you know where I’m at with it now. I’m thinking I might try and get a clip out for next week, so there’s that to look forward to- after all it’s been a while. Right, I’m all out of words now, see you next time! x